I saw a spider today — It was embedded on the frame of the door where I once closed it — on my 19th birthday, the first birthday in 5 years in which I wasn't in the midst of my 5 year existential crisis. It’s true, it’s finally happened. I am free. I a communist, of generation z, in 2023, know the answer to the 19 year old question: what do you want to be when you grow up? I finally have the answer, so fresh that I am afraid to speak it (though I feel that it may be self evident) for fear that it may die; that the door may be closed on it and that it may be embedded right where it stands, mid-motion… No, I am no longer existential. It is due to my profession. It calls me: to find the grueling irony in such great a day. Now, my sudden staring into the distance; and emotional captivation with trivial sights are not my crisis, but my obligation.